Parshas Devarim

Obviously, an essential ingredient to all our relationships, be it with our parents, our children, our spouses or our friends, is the need to hear what they say. It is easy to listen to the words, it is another thing to hear them. There can be great differences in the quality of hearing, depending on how much we put our hearts and our souls to the matter.

In parshas Yisro, Moshe Rabbeinu appointed rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties and rulers of tens. They were to judge the people at all times. Every difficult matter they were to bring to Moshe, and every small matter they were to judge themselves. Parshas Devarim also tells us about the appointment of judges but this time Moshe elaborates. “Hear between your brothers and judge righteously… and the matter that is difficult for you, bring it to me” (1:16-17).

In order to be able to judge a case it must first be heard. Before there is a response, the case must be heard with all his soul.

This idea is not limited to court cases. We are all judges in our everyday lives when we interact with others. We should ask ourselves “What does this person really want? What does he really need? Where are the words coming from?” In order to answer such questions, we need to really hear and focus on what the person is saying. (R’ Yaakov Greenwald)